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It appeared that Tina had also realised that a watershed had been reached the evening before. She admitted to herself that Christopher was a very special person and that she was very drawn to him but she could not let herself be. She was little better than a whore and could never be worthy of him. She longed to tell him the truth but could not face the risk of losing him. It never occurred to her that her reticence was going to do just that.Christopher's mind was churning too. He had really made it up as he had told Ellie but he was still torn. He felt the most enormous pull to Tina but it really was going to be too agonising to go on as things were. He wondered about asking Merle whether he could breach her confidence but dismissed the thought. She and Tania were much too fond of her to risk what was left of their friendship, particularly if Tina did not respond positively to his telling her he knew of her ordeal. He restrained himself from banging his head against the steering. But, though that would be easy to understand, it would also be a top-fuel Class A conversation-stopper. So I said, ‘Can I get you another cup of coffee?’ I was prepared to blow a large part of my five-dollar weekly pocket money there and then. It would be better than spending the 45 cents on another pack of L&M Filters (and if you’re old enough for any of this to make sense to you, my condolences. If it doesn’t make sense, congratulations, but settle down–you have a long way to go). ‘No, this is fine’, she said, which today would translate to ‘yes I would, but how do I get to a ladies’ room anywhere in this building or on this campus that is accessible to someone like me? So no, even though I would love another cup.’ We talked a while longer. Our non-relationship interaction went on into the Spring. I finally got to visit her at her parents’ apartment, in one of the grand downtown buildings miles away, and light years removed, from the crowded two-bedroom flat where all five of our.
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